I’ve been spending every waking moment lately between the obligations of paying bills and also maintaining the rituals of self-sufficiency, some rituals I have held since I was a child hanging with my grandma every day.
Incredible post. Your harvest freaking is heroic and beautiful. The critique of Bay Area folks is spot on — give me the folks who can hunt and fish and fix stuff— that’s a real connection to the land and to material reality, not vaporous pixels on a screen. Thank you for your reflections and your hard work.
Thanks for your response and for sharing the post. I have lots more in this vein and sometimes it makes sense to come out. Of course in this post I’m not trying to say that there is such a strict divide that actually exists between country and city, I enjoy aspects of both, and yet also despise aspects of both. And culturally there isn’t necessarily things that are always found here or there. I just know I prefer the quiet woods these days.
Well I can honestly say that when my grandma died in 2019 and her place was sold on the open market I was devastated. After back taxes there was a pittance left for my mom and her brother and the one grandchild (me) received nothing except some boxes of canning jars. I had spent every summer of my childhood at my grandma's house where she taught me to garden, to can and preserve food but she was violent and used religion to justify it. After her house sold to some stranger from California, it subsequently burned to the ground in the Almeda fire here in Southern Oregon. I was sad of course and yet some grip of transformation came over me after the fire. Everything goes away, everything! and sometimes after it's all gone, we are the only ones left standing to rise from the fire of our generational legacy and trauma and then here we are.. grieving and afraid. Sometimes I think I am some kind of alchemist. Learning how I can transform my grief, rage and lack of material wealth into an authentic, secure and peaceful life. I think I am doing it, but every step I'm shaky, floundering, emotional and feel alone. I think you're doing it too. If there can be any meaning to the avalanche of memory, to the rage, sorrow and abuse then it's just us...our bodies and hearts scratching out the late night writings, tending the earth, harvesting and connecting the dots. Healing is messy and is a life's work. Not everyone is built for such things, but you are, because look....you're doing it. Keep at it. We are all just walking each other home, though it's clear none of us really know the way there.
Thanks for sharing this. I am really appreciating how this post is prompting folks to share their stories - of similar things or stories of their friends going through similar things. It is true, everything goes away and if we tell ourselves that things will last forever or we hold too tight to that which gave us meaning at one moment as the nexus of our entire identity, than we are set for suffering... and yet, we have to hold on to a point, or we never know what love really is.
I connect with your loss. The last place I could go to return "home", my grandmother's house in UP Michigan, is also currently being sold. The last through line to my childhood in place. I'm just starting to grieve. And also coping through "wild" harvesting. Harvesting and eating or creating with the bounty is what makes me feel at home wherever I am. Currently making home in The Netherlands with willows, sweet chestnuts, hazelnuts, dandelion and dock roots and lots of nettles so far. Eating , dyeing, spinning, weaving. I'm alone a lot as a new immigrant here and your podcasts keep me company. Thank you for your work! (Also I'm new here, 👋 Hello)
Its a very odd feeling, isn't it, to have someone so familiar, whisked away in an instant. And yet I think, about what is happening in Palestine right now, and feel fortunate that it isn't happening that way, and yet it could shift in an instant.
I feel connection to my ancestors through my harvest, and its what i have when all else changes - my choices to continue to do these things somehow and enjoy their nourishment. thanks for sharing.
Fellow harvest freak here, just appreciating your words and sending love for the heartbreak over the farm. It's beautiful to witness you share about this sacred place and my heart aches for you. I wish I could be of help in some way. May your harvesting continue to buoy you as you walk through such grief.
The thing with the farm, I have another friend similar position. It’s heartbreaking to hear. All these years of toil and love for the land, now getting sold off to the highest bidder while grandkids struggle to make ends meet and would and could make that land thrive with biodiversity. There’s no fairness in it at all.
Thank you for posting this. Sending good vibes your way from across the other side of the planet
Incredible post. Your harvest freaking is heroic and beautiful. The critique of Bay Area folks is spot on — give me the folks who can hunt and fish and fix stuff— that’s a real connection to the land and to material reality, not vaporous pixels on a screen. Thank you for your reflections and your hard work.
Thanks for your response and for sharing the post. I have lots more in this vein and sometimes it makes sense to come out. Of course in this post I’m not trying to say that there is such a strict divide that actually exists between country and city, I enjoy aspects of both, and yet also despise aspects of both. And culturally there isn’t necessarily things that are always found here or there. I just know I prefer the quiet woods these days.
Well I can honestly say that when my grandma died in 2019 and her place was sold on the open market I was devastated. After back taxes there was a pittance left for my mom and her brother and the one grandchild (me) received nothing except some boxes of canning jars. I had spent every summer of my childhood at my grandma's house where she taught me to garden, to can and preserve food but she was violent and used religion to justify it. After her house sold to some stranger from California, it subsequently burned to the ground in the Almeda fire here in Southern Oregon. I was sad of course and yet some grip of transformation came over me after the fire. Everything goes away, everything! and sometimes after it's all gone, we are the only ones left standing to rise from the fire of our generational legacy and trauma and then here we are.. grieving and afraid. Sometimes I think I am some kind of alchemist. Learning how I can transform my grief, rage and lack of material wealth into an authentic, secure and peaceful life. I think I am doing it, but every step I'm shaky, floundering, emotional and feel alone. I think you're doing it too. If there can be any meaning to the avalanche of memory, to the rage, sorrow and abuse then it's just us...our bodies and hearts scratching out the late night writings, tending the earth, harvesting and connecting the dots. Healing is messy and is a life's work. Not everyone is built for such things, but you are, because look....you're doing it. Keep at it. We are all just walking each other home, though it's clear none of us really know the way there.
Thanks for sharing this. I am really appreciating how this post is prompting folks to share their stories - of similar things or stories of their friends going through similar things. It is true, everything goes away and if we tell ourselves that things will last forever or we hold too tight to that which gave us meaning at one moment as the nexus of our entire identity, than we are set for suffering... and yet, we have to hold on to a point, or we never know what love really is.
I connect with your loss. The last place I could go to return "home", my grandmother's house in UP Michigan, is also currently being sold. The last through line to my childhood in place. I'm just starting to grieve. And also coping through "wild" harvesting. Harvesting and eating or creating with the bounty is what makes me feel at home wherever I am. Currently making home in The Netherlands with willows, sweet chestnuts, hazelnuts, dandelion and dock roots and lots of nettles so far. Eating , dyeing, spinning, weaving. I'm alone a lot as a new immigrant here and your podcasts keep me company. Thank you for your work! (Also I'm new here, 👋 Hello)
Its a very odd feeling, isn't it, to have someone so familiar, whisked away in an instant. And yet I think, about what is happening in Palestine right now, and feel fortunate that it isn't happening that way, and yet it could shift in an instant.
I feel connection to my ancestors through my harvest, and its what i have when all else changes - my choices to continue to do these things somehow and enjoy their nourishment. thanks for sharing.
Fellow harvest freak here, just appreciating your words and sending love for the heartbreak over the farm. It's beautiful to witness you share about this sacred place and my heart aches for you. I wish I could be of help in some way. May your harvesting continue to buoy you as you walk through such grief.
Thanks for the comment. We harvest freaks have a secret language.....
Love you Kelly. Grateful for you.
❤️❤️
💔
The thing with the farm, I have another friend similar position. It’s heartbreaking to hear. All these years of toil and love for the land, now getting sold off to the highest bidder while grandkids struggle to make ends meet and would and could make that land thrive with biodiversity. There’s no fairness in it at all.
Thank you for posting this. Sending good vibes your way from across the other side of the planet
Thanks for your comment. It’s all complex and to me it seems that to guard the sacred should be the most important thing.